Have any of you notices that I've been kinda MIA lately? In reality, I have been super busy with the kids, and with family, and a few other things, like FOR REAl, but I've also gotten a case of the blogging blues.
I'm so sad that I can even catch such a thing. I don't get discouraged easily, and usually don't really care what others think, especially about me. I've always been proud of the fact that I do my thing, and don't have any desire to follow the crowd. I like being different, and that's what I thought I was. Then I started realizing, that maybe I'm not so different than most of you out there. In many ways we are all the same. We have so many things in common, yet can be completely different too. I love that.
I think the fact that we are all bloggers unites us period. The fact that many of us are mommies, unites us even further. Then you can relate to other diy boggers, crafty bloggers, faith bloggers, and recently I started reading tons of health and fitness blogs. I've also been finding so many blogs on all my favorite topics of living a green and eco friendly lifestyle. All these things unite us, in my opinion, and all of a sudden, I'm no different than any of you.
Now what do I do with myself?
There have been some new blog makeovers lately, anyone notice??? I know I'm not the only one who wishes their blog could look as amazing as you know who. Then you start doubting yourself, and start doubting what you are all about. I can't say for sure that seeing a beautiful new blog is what did it for me, but I think THAT it really set me deeper in a hole I was already digging for myself, with my own two hands, for no reason at all.
As you all know I've been working hard on getting some amazing sponsors lined up for next months giveaway. I can't even begin to tell you how incredible everyone has been, and how generous. I imagine that if my blog sucked as bad as I've been feeling lately, nobody would give me the time of day, neither would I be coming up on 400 followers soon, and neither would I have some pretty incredible bloggy friends, whom I adore. Yet despite all of that, I've been feeling not worthy. Not god enough, and clearly with that kind of mentality, NO good can come. So I've not been blogging, honestly I've not visited my blog much the past couple days, I've been so sad.
I've been taking care of emails, and all that, sure, but I know I should be doing better. What gives?
I've read many blog posts on having ups and downs, and even the most awesome bloggers out there, have been there, and done that, in regards to feeling the way I do. So I guess it's a relief to know I'm not alone, and that probably many of you can relate. I am just sad because I don't USUALLY let things like this bother me. I think I really have better things to worry about in life. Not saying that my blog is not one of them, BUT I simply HAVE no reason to feel the way I do. Nothing happened, nobody said or did anything to make me feel down. It just happened one day, like a switch, and it caught me off guard. The worst part is it just lingered, and wouldn't go away, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt sad, and the more I felt worthless.
So my friends, I just wanted to let you all know what I've been dealing with lately. I honestly have NO idea where it came from, but it did. I hate that I let it take over my thoughts, my mind, my happiness, but it did. I am ashamed that I let myself compare my blog with so many others. Thats so UNLIKE me. I can't help wanting to do everything I see, that's my nature. I can't help always wanting to improve things in my life, and well that includes my blog. Again, my nature, but what I was doing was destructive, and very counterproductive. I was letting my desires for a better ME, for a better blog, for a better tomorrow make me miserable TODAY because I couldn't make it happen fast enough.
It may not be the new year, BUT last week WAS my 1st bloggy bday, and I think that I CAN do a whole lot better this year, staring NOW. I can't change everything overnight, and neither can I change yesterday, or even one minute ago for that matter. BUT I can change my attitude from this moment forward, and it's crucial that I do.
Speaking of feeling happy, am I the only one who's ready to start wearing scarfs again?
Why OH why does this picture have to be blurry, I just LOVE it.
So as I go to bed tonight, I will go to sleep knowing I'm OK, my blog is JUST fine, we are all healthy, happy, and I am loved. The rest should fall in to place, and as long as I smile, my heart will be happy knowing that tomorrow will be a better day.
Bella @ Bella before and after
In my spare time I enjoy cooking, and baking. In fact my mother and I have been making cakes for over 30 years. I also love gardening, traveling, and all things crafty. I struggle daily to keep my like organized, along with my never ending battle to keep the house clean. I adore my three kids MOST of the time, and can usually be found doing the mom thing from morning till night. I try to catch a few mommy moments, but those are hard to find in this wonderful life of mine. I am blessed and happy, and am thrilled you stopped by today :)