Sunday, August 14, 2011

- A story of being sad -

Have any of you notices that I've been kinda MIA lately? In reality, I have been super busy with the kids, and with family, and a few other things, like FOR REAl, but I've also gotten a case of the blogging blues. 
I'm so sad that I can even catch such a thing. I don't get discouraged easily, and usually don't really care what others think, especially about me. I've always been proud of the fact that I do my thing, and don't have any desire to follow the crowd. I like being different, and that's what I thought I was. Then I started realizing, that maybe I'm not so different than most of you out there. In many ways we are all the same. We have so many things in common, yet can be completely different too. I love that. 

I think the fact that we are all bloggers unites us period. The fact that many of us are mommies, unites us even further. Then you can relate to other diy boggers, crafty bloggers, faith bloggers, and recently I started reading tons of health and fitness blogs. I've also been finding so many blogs on all my favorite topics of living a green and eco friendly lifestyle. All these things unite us, in my opinion, and all of a sudden, I'm no different than any of you. 

Now what do I do with myself?

There have been some new blog makeovers lately, anyone notice??? I know I'm not the only one who wishes their blog could look as amazing as you know who. Then you start doubting yourself, and start doubting what you are all about. I can't say for sure that seeing a beautiful new blog is what did it for me, but I think THAT it really set me deeper in a hole I was already digging for myself, with my own two hands, for no reason at all. 

As you all know I've been working hard on getting some amazing sponsors lined up for next months giveaway. I can't even begin to tell you how incredible everyone has been, and how generous. I imagine that if my blog sucked as bad as I've been feeling lately, nobody would give me the time of day, neither would I be coming up on 400 followers soon, and neither would I have some pretty incredible bloggy friends, whom I adore. Yet despite all of that, I've been feeling not worthy. Not god enough, and clearly with that kind of mentality, NO good can come. So I've not been blogging, honestly I've not visited my blog much the past couple days, I've been so sad. 

I've been taking care of emails, and all that, sure, but I know I should be doing better. What gives?

I've read many blog posts on having ups and downs, and even the most awesome bloggers out there, have been there, and done that, in regards to feeling the way I do. So I guess it's a relief to know I'm not alone, and that probably many of you can relate. I am just sad because I don't USUALLY let things like this bother me. I think I really have better things to worry about in life. Not saying that my blog is not one of them, BUT I simply HAVE no reason to feel the way I do. Nothing happened, nobody said or did anything to make me feel down. It just happened one day, like a switch, and it caught me off guard. The worst part is it just lingered, and wouldn't go away, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt sad, and the more I felt worthless. 

So my friends, I just wanted to let you all know what I've been dealing with lately. I  honestly have NO idea where it came from, but it did. I hate that I let it take over my thoughts, my mind, my happiness, but it did. I am ashamed that I let myself compare my blog with so many others. Thats so UNLIKE me. I can't help wanting to do everything I see, that's my nature. I can't help always wanting to improve things in my life, and well that includes my blog. Again, my nature, but what I was doing was destructive, and very counterproductive. I was letting my desires for a better ME, for a better blog, for a better tomorrow make me miserable TODAY because I couldn't make it happen fast enough. 

It may not be the new year, BUT last week WAS my 1st bloggy bday, and I think that I CAN do a whole lot better this year, staring NOW. I can't change everything overnight, and neither can I change yesterday, or even one minute ago for that matter. BUT I can change my attitude from this moment forward, and it's crucial that I do. 
Speaking of feeling happy, am I the only one who's ready to start wearing scarfs again?
Why OH why does this picture have to be blurry, I just LOVE it. 

So as I go to bed tonight, I will go to sleep knowing I'm OK, my blog is JUST fine, we are all healthy, happy, and I am loved. The rest should fall in to place, and as long as I smile, my heart will be happy knowing that tomorrow will be a better day. 


  1. Oh lovely lady, you are beautiful inside and out and do not fear that you are "bizarre" for feeling this way. I go back and forth on whether I should even keep blogging, I mean what's so great about an (almost!) 28 year old who colors her hair purple and dresses up like a fairy on occasion?! OH yeah...because I'm ME, and you are YOU and we're all different even if we have so many things in common...I feel a song coming on. ;0) Sending hugs your way and rest assured I think your blog is rad!

  2. This is just a passing phase! every SAHM mom goes through it. In fact i am right now going through it! Identity crisis. Hope to get over it. I am sure you will. Take care

  3. I will spend my heaven doing good upon earth....hang in there! We all get down sometimes, but as you said, YOU ARE LOVED! Just as you are. NO need to prove yourself to anyone. You are so very blessed! I know that I have to remind myself of this each and every day. And give thanks. It isn't always easy, but we will survive our times of doubt. They make us stronger. Hang in there, girl.


  4. I like your blog and I have been following for a while now. And I am going to get a little harsh now. My first blog birthday is next month and I am (was) happy at 147 followers. I've been pretty pleased with seeing my view numbers go up steadily. But reading this is quite like having to listen to a size 2 friend berate herself for being fat and ugly (I'm a size 14 and yes, been there too). Like I told my friend, Knock it off! Your blog is beautiful and you have sponsors behind you who agree.

  5. Oh girl! I am going through the same rough patch! I think Bekah put it best, "I'm ME, and you are YOU and we're all different even if we have so many things in common". We all love ya for being your unique self! You add spunk to the world! Cheer up buttercup!

  6. The blogging blues!? I can't believe it but I do believe you. You know the blog is a strange strange thing. I lost a follower last week and I didn't know who it was or why it happened and I was seriously stressing and then I was like so what? I had my blog for 7 months before Anyone started commenting. I cherish my friends i have made. Keep ya head up!

  7. I can definitely understand how you are feeling! I have had some moments very similar. I have been following your blog for a while now and always love reading your posts. Every blogger has to start somewhere before they can get where they want to be. I have always believed that for everything you do, there is someone out there who you can find that you think does it better.... just know that there is also someone out there who is looking at what you have, or what you do {your blog :)}, and is envious of you :)

    Your bloggy friend Amanda @ little b

  8. Oh this is almost sweet! and counterproductive!:( Maybe you are taking this a bit too seriously:D I am one of the ppl who wish my blog looked like yours! But I'm not sad your blog is "better equipped" than mine, I am glad that once I am ready to take initiative to change mine, I know where to come for inspiration!


  9. BELLA~ Do me a favor and read this post that I wrote last week and tell me what you think! ....I think everyone who commented on this should read it too! XOXOX Andrea
    here is the link to the post :

  10. hang in there girl. I know how you feel. I hardly blog. If I visit blogs at all . I am coming out of it though. It has been a dry summer here in tx and my blogs have been dry. My projects have been non exsistant. I am slowly getting back to feeling in the crafty mood. Schools starts next week maybe that will help.

  11. I LOVE the blogging community, but man do I hate that the more popular blogs can sometimes make it all feel like a popularity contest!

  12. Hey Girly! Thanks for such an encouraging comment on my post! Pretty Crazy we both blogged about the same thing today! GRRR!! Those bloggy blues as you called it are totally not fun! But as you said to me keep your head up! You are doing wonderfully!

  13. Dont be sad sweet Bella. I do know what you are going through, I feel the same. It seems like the spark has died out and so many other things have met in the middle to put it out. We see so many wonderful things out there in blogland and want to be like one person or the next or have that house or those clothes etc. However, we are all different and that is ok, we learn from each other, inspire each other and make each other better. Life is so full of ups and downs (not to mention school REALLY needs to start soon. :) ) and lately it has been on a downward for me too. Nothing specific but it just happened to me as well, life happens outside our blogs and we need to deal with it. I know we can pull out of it and if we have to take a break to put ourselves back on track, then so be it. Don't be too hard on yourself, your blog is beautiful and though I don't comment all the time I always read it. :) Your smile makes me smile my sweet friend, hang in there!
    Love and hugs!!

  14. Bella love, don't get down on yourself. It's totally natural to feel down sometimes. And sometime we have no idea why. I think it's just a combination of things sometimes. I go thru this all the time. I love you. Your beautiful, amazing, creative and so loving. AND I love your GORGEOUS blog!! :)

  15. Oh Miss darling girl...
    I sometimes come over here and get incredibly jealous of your life. It seems so picture perfect. I see these radiant smiles, hugs and sunshine. Understandably, anyone can look happy in a photo, but you guys genuinely seem very, very happy.
    You could post twice a year and I would still be here, reading those posts! You are a fabulous writer, a fantastic friend and a hugely important support to me in my own blogging adventure.
    Stick with it. Take a break. Fall in love with it all over again. Whatever is right for YOU!


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Hugs, Bella

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In my spare time I enjoy cooking, and baking. In fact my mother and I have been making cakes for over 30 years. I also love gardening, traveling, and all things crafty. I struggle daily to keep my like organized, along with my never ending battle to keep the house clean. I adore my three kids MOST of the time, and can usually be found doing the mom thing from morning till night. I try to catch a few mommy moments, but those are hard to find in this wonderful life of mine. I am blessed and happy, and am thrilled you stopped by today :)