Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Why GOD, Why? I ran over my cat today!!!!!


I don't even have words to express the grief I'm feeling.
The anger, that I am the one who ran over my beautiful cat.
I loved him so much.
He was the BEST FREAKIN CAT EVER, and I will miss him
I will miss him rubbing against my legs everyday
I will miss his BEAUTIFUL green eyes, the most beautiful eyes ever
I will miss him walking with us down the street, EVERYWHERE
Everyone that met him would always say how awesome he was
He was the friendliest cat
He was the best companion
The kids adored him
Even my mom who is not a pet person, LOVED him so much

He ran out of food yesterday, and my mom must have reminded me a million times to get Tiger food
So yesterday and today he got spoiled with whole albacore tuna, I was just joking that he loves running out of food, because thats when he gets the yummy stuff :)

Just this morning, my mom and I watched him as he devoured his food
He was so beautiful, we loved on him SOOOO much today

I just can't believe he's gone

Right before my eyes, I saw him take his last breath

It's just unbelievable. WHY me, WHY did I have to be the one to take his life

I just couldn't stop shaking, the kids ran out to see, and everyone was screaming, crying, I just killed him, I just killed Tiger

It was supposed to be a happy day, everything was perfect, I was heading to the gym for my yoga class and to go rock climbing with the kids

If I had left a minute earlier, if I had left five minutes later

If I didn't leave at all

If I had looked behind my van, like I always do.

This time I only saw the kids bike to the side, and I don't know why, but I never checked for the cat
WHY DIDN'T I CHECK for the cat?




The kids said he was sitting in the driveway cleaning himself just minutes before we left
I called them all to hurry and get in the car
We were all thinking about the gym, rock climbing, and NOBODY thought about Tiger

I'm sorry baby, I'm SOOOOOOOOOO sorry.

I love you, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU with all my heart!!

I took some pictures of him, I will miss him always.

This is the hardest it's ever been on me to lose an animal. I just can't imagine I could cry so many tears for a cat, but damn it, I LOVED that cat so much, and I FUCKING killed him. How can I ever forgive myself for that?

It's been four hours since it happened, and I haven't stopped crying since. I just can't stop thinking about him, right now, he would have been sleeping on his favorite spot in the garage. We would have called him in for the night, and gave him one last rub before heading to bed.

Now he's dead, and cold in a grave. I feel so guilty, so bad, so sad, so hurt.

All I know is that he didn't suffer.

It happened so fast, I backed up, ran over him, saw him dash to the front of the driveway, and thats when I jumped out of the car, realizing what just happened

By the time I got to him, (5 seconds later) he took his last breath, there was NOTHING I could do.

There was no blood, no visible sign of injury, he just looked like he was sleeping, only this time he would never wake up, and I'm flippin crying like a crazy mad woman all over again, I just can't get the thought out of my head, I just can't stop seeing him. I know he didn't suffer, it was just SO fast.

If there is anything I can be thankful for, it is that!

I'm so sorry everyone, I know this was a terribly sad post, but I just HAD to sahre his story, and what I did. I had to write about it, and get all my feelings out, and I have to share some pictures with all of you, because I loved him, and I always will

He was a HUGE part of our family, there will never be another cat like him, EVER.

My husband said, that you never know why things like this happen, and I know that's the truth.

Would I rather have had him die a painful death some other way, or hit by a strangers car on the road, where he was left by himself, NO of course not.

But this pain is just unbearable, I am 100%responsible, and he never saw it coming. He trusted us so much.

This is just something I can't explain, to know that you are responsible for your animals death.

Oh gosh, my heart is hurting so bad, I miss my cat :(

Do you believe cats, (animals) know when they are loved?
Do you believe they can love you back?

I know Tiger loved us, and I sure hope he knows how much we loved him too, FORVER!!!

 We buried him in my daughters blanket, so he would be forever warm.
We all wrote on this makeshift cross, that just happened to by Dino D's sword. It was from him to Tiger, so he could remember him always.
My mom, bless her heart, she was so strong, and dug the hole, and took care of everything for me. I don't know what I would have done without her, I was just a mess. Shaking, I"M STILL SHAKING, and CRYING, and shaking, and crying :(
The girly, grabbed a kitty from her room, and buried it with Tiger, so of course he wouldn't be lonely. 
 My oldest, gave Tiger his book. Diary of a Wimpy Kid Diary, because it's filled with all kinds of stuff about him, and he thought Tiger should have it. I mean seriously, OMG, these kids are just making me cry even more. We all loved Tiger SO much. DId I already tell you guys that, WE LOVED TIGER!!!
 After he was buried, my mom put a planter on his grave and filled it with flowers. The princess said it was perfect, so he would never be hungry. You know because cats love to chew on grass, and plants :)

 I never quite understood the grief of losing an animal like this, it's so painful.

I just can't believe that he was with us, and now he's gone.

Just the other day I shared a picture of him on facebook, he was so peaceful sleeping on the grass, it was such a beautiful day, everything was perfect.

Now he's gone
I will ALWAYS love you TIGER!!!


  1. OMG, Bella, I've been crying for you since I saw your post about this on Facebook. I can relate to your pain so much. I had my dog put down ten years ago because of his arthritis - a decision I have always regretted. I felt so guilty afterward, and still do. I still miss him every day. I am certain that Tiger always loved you and still does. Hang in there!!

    1. Thank you Yancy, although I've had pets all my life, it has NEVER hit me this hard. I've had several cats that just never came home anymore, and I was always sad, but never SAW them die, so somehow I was able to think they were ok still somewhere.

      My beautiful cat DID know we loved him, he was just like a baby to me, I was his momma and I loved him so much :)

  2. I am so sorry to hear about your baby. I know you must feel terrible, but you didn't know. He was blessed to have a wonderful life being loved by you and your family.

  3. I'm very sorry for your loss. Only time will help you heal, but just remember this was a terrible accident. Hug your kids and tell them how proud you are of them for being so strong and understanding. This is a horrible, painful, teachable moment in their lives. They will love you even more for sharing your heart and heartbreak with them. My thoughts are with you.

    1. Pam you are so right. My kids are incredible, they were comforting me so much yesterday, even though I should have been comforting them. I felt SOOOO guilty, and always will, and they all told me over and over again, it was an accident.

      I do know that, but somehow, I do feel it was MEANT to be me. I just know it now. Had it been anyone else, God forbid, my mom or my husband, I would have been even more ANGRY, and hurt. My family has been so incredible, standing by me, and comforting me.

      I will miss my Tiger always :)

  4. Oh Bella, my friend. I'm so very very sorry. What Pam said is so true. I love you my friend and I'm saying prayers for u.

    1. Thank you mama. It's not like me to go share something like this RIGHt away with everyone. I'm actually a pretty private person, believe it or not.

      Somehow, taking those pics, writing about Tiger, (TO TIGER) and sharing what happened, made me breathe a little easier. All your sweet thoughts, and prayers, are SOOOO healing too. I'm so lucky to have you all.

  5. Oh Bella, my friend. I'm so very very sorry. What Pam said is so true. I love you my friend and I'm saying prayers for u.

  6. Bella I'm so sorry this has happened. I can't imagine what you are going through but you must remember this was an accident. Tiger knew he was loved and in time the wonderful memories you have will make his passing easier.

    Please try not to be too hard on yourself, easier said I know.

    1. Amanda, I had almost 6 years with Tiger, and he's been through A LOT.

      I know he's lived all his NINE lives to the fullest, and it was truly his time to go.

      I just wish it wasn't so soon :(

  7. I'm so terribly sorry that this happened. It's heartbreaking to loose your cat and really takes a toll on you. I can tell how much you loved him and this was an awful accident. I believe cats know when they are loved and I believe they love right back. Hugs to you. xoxo

    1. I truly believe they know too.

      He NEVER EVER EVER was mean to anyone. He was the sweetest cat anyone could ever ask for.

      He was fat, and happy, and loving, and I can picture me watching him eat just YESTERDAY, loving on him, petting him, then he would rub on my legs some more.

      While my mom was gardening yesterday he chilled next to her all day, and the kids got to play with him one last time before he was gone.

      Yesterday was a special day for him, he got SOOOO much love, it's almost like he knew.

  8. Bella,
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby, Zues MARS last year in January. It was so devastating for me. I miss him every day, and have so many memories of him in my daily life. My heart goes out to you right now, since I know it is heart wrenching. ((hugs)) to you and blessings to brighter days.

    1. Thank you Brooke! I'm telling you, I've never felt this kind of pain before, over an animal. My heart is just breaking in a million pieces, I miss him so much :(

  9. You poor thing! I am sitting here with tears in my eyes for you and your little Tiger. There's not a doubt in my mind that you loved him with all your heart and spoiled him lots and lots. I hope you are able to forgive yourself for what was truly a tragic accident. Remember that you gave him a fantastic, loving life while he was here. He couldn't have wished for anything better than that. *hug*

    1. I sure hope you are right girl. He was loved from the moment I brought him home from the shelter. I never ever expected it to end like this.

      Life is so precious, everyday I am reminded of that in some way.

      He was VERY special to me, in so many ways. My heart will be with him forever.

  10. I'm so sorry for your loss!! What a horrible ordeal for all of you! What a horrible ACCIDENT, please remember that. I know you're still going to feel guilty but it was an accident, one that could have happened even if you had looked. Remember all the good times with your beautiful cat and try not to dwell on yesterday too much. *HUGS*

    1. To tell you honestly, I've cried pretty much nonstop since last night, at 6pm when it happened. I just can't stand the thought he's gone. I can't get the picture of him taking his last breath out of my mind.

      It was absolutely horrible.

      Everyones kindness, and my families support is making it a little less painful, because I know you all are right.

      I think I will cry many more tears, I loved him so much, but time will heal.

      I truly believe he was MUCH more than just a pet, just a cat, he was incredible, and I will always cherish him.

  11. How sad!!! I am so so sorry Bella!!!!

  12. Aww sweetie I am so very sorry. Please know that I am thinking about you and sending you hugs. It is never easy to lose a pet and please know that it was an accident. He loves you very much. Give it time and grieve for him but always know that he loves you.

  13. Awww I am so sorry to hear about your accident. Please know that Tiger knew he was loved and part of the family and I know it's hard right now (I was crying reading this post as my heart broke for you). It made me think of when 4 legged members of my family have passed on. I will pray for peace and comfort for all your family and please know I am thinking of you. Blessings xx

  14. Oh no, it took me a few minutes to comment. I am so sorry! I'm sure he knows how much you love him and is getting spoiled in kitty heaven!

  15. Oh no! I feel so sorry for you! I really hope you feel better soon. Best wishes, Annemarie

  16. I ran over and killed my dear green-eyed kitty, "X-Ray Man" 12 years ago in my garage. He was 17 years old and we loved him very much. The guilt is overwhelming! Mistakes happen in life and there is no avoiding them. Your precious Tiger KNEW how much he was loved...and after some time has passed, another kitty will be lucky to find you and love you. teresa

  17. I am sorry for your loss. this made me remember when my sister lost her puppy. it was a heart-breaking sight, my sister digging the grave... but you should remember it was as accident and I'm sure Tiger also knew that. Take care!

  18. Bella honey I'm so sorry for your loss!!!!! It's terrible, but you didn't mean it. Remember all the good times and please know that Tiger isn't in pain and he's playing with that big ball of catnip in the sky. I'll keep all of you in my thoughts.

  19. Oh sweetheart...I'm so sorry to read this. I pray that in the last few weeks your heart has found some comfort. ♥

  20. I ran over my 18 year old cat a couple hours ago. He was getting weak and we talked about watching out for him because he wouldn't move out of the way. I posted on FB yesterday he probably wouldn't make it much longer. I just cant believe I did that to him. He has been in my life for 18 years. I feel terrible and such a loss.

  21. Bella, I could have written your post. It's exactly how I feel (except the he didn't suffer part.) I ran over my cat Peepers this afternoon. It was just like what happened to you and your Tiger. I pulled in the driveway and cut off the car for a couple of minutes, then decided to go and visit a friend. I thought about going inside the house for a minute, but didn't and just put the car in reverse and backed up. I didn't even think about the cat even though I knew she was outside. When I heard the thump I knew what it was. Nobody has ever left my house without my saying "be sure the cat isn't under the car." And then I am the one who killed her. I am so overprotective of my animals and spend a lot of time and energy making sure they are safe. How could I be so stupid?

    I hope you are feeling better now after a bit of time has passed. Your post came up when I Googled "I ran over my cat". Who knew?

    1. Oh Kathy, bless your heart, I feel your pain. You know I do!! Just reading this post again, and all the comments, and of course what happened to you has brought back lots of tears.

      Yes, it was VERY hard the first couple days, and even weeks after that. I missed him so much, and we talk about him ALL THE time still. We got 2 new kittens in June when we moved in our new home, and our boy cat is named Tiger too. He makes me smile!

      I think I will always be paranoid about backing out of my driveway now, and when I drive and a cat runs in front of my car, it's enough to make me absolutely freak out. I wish I could go back on that dreaded day and change it, but we know it's not possible.

      Your pain will slowly go away, but like me I doubt you will ever forget. Love is amazing, and I'm glad I had my Tiger to love for so many years. I wish he was still with us!!

      Sending you lots of hugs!!


  22. Hi Bella, I ran over my cat Bailey a couple days ago, i am devestated i don't know how to cope. I can barely eat or sleep. We had Bailey for about 10 years he belonged to the lady next door and he decided he wanted to live with us he was very quirky and dog like at times he loved our dog Chili and used to chase him around the yard. He was one of a kind and will never be replaced. He came out to greet us at the driveway as he usually did with the dog and he was pretty slow at moving out of the cars way, and we always kept it slow and steady, i honked and pulled in slowly and then felt the bump and didn't realize what had happened my husband was right behind me and saw it all and couldn't do anything, the last seconds of his life i replay in my head constanly. i could do nothing to put him out of his misery. I am aching my heart is wrenching and i cant do anything but feel guilty for killing my cat. I am so sorry that it happened to you too, i searched the internet to find someone i could express my feeling to that knew exactaly how i was feeling. I know that your post was a year ago but i could feel your pain while writing it as i'm feeling now.

    bless you and thanks for posting i need to see this

    1. Debbie that is so sad and traumatic for you..i hope by now you have myme to a better place with just happened to me a couple of hours still in total shock...poor minky my lovely best friend cat...i reversed into him iminute after petting him bye...he usually runs off when i staret the engine...but this time..god this time i didnt visually check..lost for what to do i disdained the use of the internet..but gave in and tyzped 'i ran over my cat and he's dead...' then found all you lovely people suffering/and suffered just like i am...

  23. Just ran across this after this happening to us today. My daughter texted me and said I killed our cat Jinxy, said it looks like I ran over her backing out today! I feel horrible! Just last night she was playfully watching me clean the fish tank and I gave her a kiss on the head and told her how cute she was, I feel so aweful, I have about 1 hour of work left and I cannot do anything, I want to go home but I know it'll be worse when I get there as the wife and kids found her so I'm gonna feel even more horrible, I feel for you and please help me through this!

    1. kasey bella's just happened for me too...2hours ago I ran over Minky my lovely lovely all grey same circumstances..1minute im petting him in the car park(he was affectionately known by a neighbiur as 'the car-park cat)..he usually scampers off when i start up..and i usually follow through with making sure he has scampered off...but today I heartbroken..and feel guilty as was!an accident i keep saying to myself...Im 65 years old and for part of my life an out of control alcoholic...that was 30years ago..since then ive done my best to make amends for all the damage that I caused..have recently lost my brother from cancer...+2 brothers before him to alcohol...i know i have strengths now having borne all that...but this seems so avoidable and its so painful..i feel helpless...thank god ive found some of you peoplke to just share it with...god bless you in your pain and sadness....Peter u.k

  24. Tigger was beautiful! I am so sorry for your loss. I lost two cats in two months and one was an accident just like yours. If this is any consolation, these freakish accidents do happen. My wife run over our cat and I could not believe it, after all their supposed to be careful and have 9-lives. Apparently, not always.

  25. Dear Bella,

    today my mom and me were leaving for the store and our beautiful cat Panther just didn't realize it. He was sleeping under the car. After he ran a little away, we very carefully took him inside and had to wait a horrible 30 minutes, watching him suffer. I was by his side the whole time. I cried so hard. We met the vet at the clinic (it was closed but we know her) and she checked him. There was really nothing she could do, so I said to just give him the shot. I didn't want him in pain any longer. My poor baby is in heaven now, we just buried him.

  26. Know this happened last year to you, but it just happened yesterday to me.

    Looking up "cat ran over"+ "no wounds" and found your post.

    Tears dripping as I type. Ours was a tortoiseshell female. She was always skittish around the cars --moving right away when we started them -- but it was probably too hot yesterday (Michigan, low 90s and humid). Felt a bump, saw her run away (!) and could not fine her. She went to the neighbor's and passed away, looking like she was asleep, like your Tiger.

  27. I came upon your blog and this post as I was searching for comfort--someone who would understand my heart. 2 days ago I accidentally ran over our little kitten, whom we've had for 2 months. It was the "grand-kitten" of our most favorite cat, Kit-Kat who died earlier this year from being bitten by a poisonous snake on our property. Kit-Kat looked JUST like your Tiger, the same kind of cat. She was the best ever. I tracked down the owner of a female kitten of hers that we had given away a year earlier. We wanted a descendant of Kit-Kat because she was such a great cat, and to honor and remember her. Well, 2 months ago we were blessed to get George, a solid black kitten who was much like her grandmother (grandcat, however you'd say it). George has been so precious and a delight to us all. My children have loved him so much. School just started a few days ago and on my way to leave to pick up the kids (who want me to be early in the pick-up line), I accidentally ran over George...who is usually so good at moving out of the way. I forgot to look for him! How could I have been so careless? He must have been sleeping behind the wheel. My heart was so broken, tears flowed freely. He was just in agony on the driveway and I immediately ran to him, carrying him in my arms, trying to comfort him. Then he died. Oh, how awful. How could I have done that? This precious kitten whom we loved. My oldest son was home and helped me immediately bury George. BUT, my younger children still don't know. They've asked about him, looked for him, but have been busy with school and activities. I just cannot stand the fact of telling them that I, their mother, was the one who killed their beloved pet. But, I'll have to tell them sometime. I have cried and cried about it. We will NOT get another cat. An accident like this happened years ago as well, and I just cannot take the pain. We will just do our best to take care of our other few animals, and mourn the loss of our sweet, adorable, playful, little George. I am so very sorry for your loss and hope it has lessened over time. I believe that all of God's creatures have a soul and will live after this life. I hope to see our sweet little George again someday. For now, he is hopefully playing in the next life with Kit-Kat. God Bless.

  28. I came across ur post looking for some ease I feel everything u did last night I was in a hurry to get home and saw our cat of 20years she always moved away from cars not thinking anything of it I got in a backed up slowly to hear the cat yelp I ran he over I feel like a monster there was blood im still crying today. My lil brother made her.a box and barried her in it on her cat bed I question my self so much.and it hurts so bad

  29. This just happened to me today and I felt awful about it. I was leaving to the grocery store and I was slowly backing up and I felt like I had ran over a tree branch when I went to stop and park again I got out of my car and saw the baby kitten lying on the floor having a seizure attack and bleeding from the side of his face and I could not bare the fact that I ran over a cat. It was the saddest thing and seeing this post and all these comments made me realize that life is so short and we can not control the things that happen to us. It was an accident as it was an accident for Tiger. I'm so sorry for your loss and for the losses of the other people that lost their beloved pets. Although he was not my cat he belonged to the neighbors cat and I had played with him a while back and he was very loving and sweet. I was so sad I couldn't stop crying and feeling so guilty and the day before I had seen a dead dog by the side of the road. I think I will be tramutized for awhile. I was able to put him in a box and bury him near my home just like you did with Tiger. I'm glad I stumbled upon your blog, keeping your family and Tiger in my prayers and in a way this is also helping me recover from my sadness and guilt as well. Take care Bella.

  30. I ran over my big sweet kitty Jack and didn't find him for several days. It is so hard dealing with the pain of losing him and the knowledge I did it and couldn't even find him to help him. He was 8 years old and we are all so sad. Everyone is trying to tell me it was an accident and to forgive myself. It is hard to not only grieve the loss of his presence in our daily lives but to work through the feelings of having been the one to have run over him. I know it takes time, but it sure feels awful. Thank you for posting your experience Bella. It has helped me to read your post and those that have followed.

  31. I just came across this blog when googling to find others in a situation similar. Just two days ago i ran over our cat Willow :( I wish I could say I just didn't see him, but I did! I just made the terrible TERRIBLE mistake of assuming he would move like he always did :( The kids and I had nipped up to the shop, I had to wait for their takeaways so I decided to come home... I didn't even need to go home. But we were hot and bothered and sitting in the shop or car for 20mins wasn't appealing. I drove in the driveway and all four of our cats were sitting on the deck or driveway, knowing it was just about their dinner time too, they were always home at that time. I drove in slowly, and felt my tyre skid... I thought oh crap! I told myself it must be my power steering low or something but the look on the other cats faces very quickly told me something was wrong. Then I felt it, the thumping against the car. I panicked, I jumped out and ran around to the passenger side of the car, I caught a split second glimpse and didn't know what to do. I didn't just panic, I FREAKED. I quickly got back in the car, I must of said oh my god oh my god 100 times. I didn't know if I should go forward or back, all I knew was he was stuck!! At this point my daughter looked out the window and screamed 'go back, there's blood!!' ...So I did... I don't know if this was the right thing to do or not, I don't know if it would of made a difference to the outcome... it was traumatic. He moved maybe half a meter from the car and all the other cats came running. I ran inside the hosue to get a blanket. He was a beautiful fluffy white cat and the blood was scary to see, I thought I could cover him and try to comfort him but by the time i returned he was taking his last breathes. I tried to ring my mum and my best friend but no one answered. I fell to my knees and bawled my eyes out.. My son and daughter were in the backseat of the car, witness to everything... Finally I got hold of my friend who dropped everything to come out. I backed the car out on the road and ushered the kids in the other gate so they wouldnt have to see more then they already had.

    Later on we buried him in the garden, wrapped in the blanket he use to love sleeping on and the kids sprinkled dog biscuits in with him (He was a ratbag for going for the dogs food instead of his own)
    They also painted rocks and made letters for his grave.

    The guilt is haunting me! Ive been crying ever since... WHY WHY WHY was I so stupid! It is bad enough missing him but knowing his death was my fault, it absolutely sucks!!
    The fact I caused him so much pain, the fact the kids saw, even the fact that the other cats saw. Its just horrible and I dont think I can ever forgive myself for my actions. I didnt need to go out, we originally planned to walk, and I most certainly didnt need to return home when I did..Most of all I should of made sure he moved!!

    He was the best cat, secretly everyones favourite. So handsome and cruisy natured, his absence has left a huge hole :(.

    I hope it gets easier, reading your blog makes me feel a little less alone in some ways, and I think typing all this out has helped also. RIP to all our furry friends. xx

    1. Sunny, I do understand and reading your comment brought everything back to me like it was yesterday. Unbelievable how much we love our furry friends isn't it? I still for the life of me can't understand WHY my Tiger never moved out of the way either. I backed up slowly, and he just sat there. We both can beat up on ourselves all day long and unfortunately it will never change anything. I can tell you that it does get better. :) You have 3 other kitties who you love and trust me you will love them even more now. After getting 2 new kittens several months later, all of us fell in love with them, and it helped with the pain. I named the boy kitten after Tiger, and he looks SO much like my old Tiger it's crazy :) We still talk about him all the time, and my little boy cries at night often saying he misses him. We pray and I tell him that Tiger is having such a good time in heaven and he will always be in our hearts. I do hope that the pain slowly goes away for you too my friend. I'm also very happy that by sharing my experience it has brought you a little comfort. I never expected to connect with so many people, but I too now know I am not alone in the pain I felt that day. Thinking of you, and sending many hugs your way :)


  32. I dont know what to say...I am numb and had to know I am not alone. My cat Butchie passed away in my arms only 9 hours ago and I am trying to stop crying. It is my fault and I did the exact same thing. I miss him so much...he was the best cat I ever had! So full of life. I saw my poor boy convulsing after I ran over him and that is a hard memory to forget... and then die in my arms 5 min after it happened. .I feel horrible. I know time will heal and your story has helped me. Thank you.

  33. OMG! I am so sorry to hear tht god bless your family hope u feel better soon xox

  34. I ran over my Minnie today I haven't been able to stop crying I miss her so much how can this happen I'm so full of guilt how can anyone get over doing this I'm so upset she was my absolute world

  35. On Easter Monday 2016 we reversed into our garage, slowly and quietly and heard a tiny meow. Didn't really feel a bump or anything that noticeable to be honest. My husband didn't see anything on the floor, nor had I, and we had run totally over our red burmese boy. He liked to drop down on the ground and show his belly for tickles - and this is what he must have done on that day, without us realising he was even there. We had hit his bowels and he was writhing in agony, twitching, on the floor. My husband was hysterical and we grabbed the cat box to take him to the ER vet to get him put down so that he wouldn't suffer needlessly. The drive was dreadful as he was writhing in pain in the cat box uncontrollably. It was clear that it was only a matter of time before death was upon him. He made it about five minutes down the road and he then died, not peacefully, but finally. He was still very warm and lovely and soft so we brought him home and cuddled him, kissed him, said goodbye to him, took his collar off, dug a hole, and buried him in the garden, and put a big piece of sandstone over him. My husband blames himself, I blame myself. It was no one's fault - it was an accident. We can't live with regrets or continual sadness - so when we think of our boy writhing in pain suffering, we have to think instead of him cuddling in our arms, purring away most happily. He had his quirks - he was a bully with our other cats, he was always putting himself in dangers way (he was attacked by a dog two years and very traumatised). We gave him a good life, despite our faults, and he gave us back so much in return. Yes, we are still in the "if only we have of done this" and so on stage, but we have to keep on reminding ourselves, it was an accident. We are not perfect. The pain is still so strong, hoping it will ease soon. We are so sorry beautiful red boy.

  36. WOW! I feel your pain. Such a thing to leave yourself with is the guilt. Tiger will see and accept and adore and cherish you when you and your family and all of his human friends and animal friends join him in the next level of unity. No pain there. Al is soothed. Tiger loves you and KNOWS you didn't mean it. He wishes he could tell you that. Time is your great healer. Sometimes pets give their lives for greater purpose. Perhaps he died becasue it meant that this would protect your children from the same. He raised your awareness. Whatever reason, he will tell you why fate entwined the two of you that day.

  37. My friend just called me to let me know he ran over his cat. I told him it happens so often. Funny thing, though I wouldn't dare remind him, I had warned him while we were backing out of his drive way just a few months ago to always check under his car for his pets. It happens so often people wouldn't believe it.


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In my spare time I enjoy cooking, and baking. In fact my mother and I have been making cakes for over 30 years. I also love gardening, traveling, and all things crafty. I struggle daily to keep my like organized, along with my never ending battle to keep the house clean. I adore my three kids MOST of the time, and can usually be found doing the mom thing from morning till night. I try to catch a few mommy moments, but those are hard to find in this wonderful life of mine. I am blessed and happy, and am thrilled you stopped by today :)